..Got sleep?..

I have the self declared insomnia
And it sucks
Five am ain't a bedtime

Dan a woman can NEVER have too many shoes
Great to add that I have quote nice shoes unquote
It undeniably true my taste is top notch
But I have to add
You look mighty hot in the pic

I'm bored shitless but I'm lovin it
Makes sense?
Neither do many things

Hallowe'en is the eve of All Saints Day
But Hallowe'en isn't a good thing
It doesn't make sense doesn't it
Ohh the wonders of the world

1:51 AM;
and the camera clicked away

..When you mix around farktards
You tend to become a farktard yourself..

Towned a few days back
Utter bliss since no one goes to town
On a weekday night
I broke my record of god knows how many years
Of not taking neoprints..
My my how the freaking machine have advanced
But it's still in japanese
Enough said

Managed to get only one vcd from HMV
It's totally not the season of good shows
But the vcd I got totally rawks
I've been meaning to watch it but somehow never made it to the cinemas here
And guys with the freaking british accent plus cute looks
Couldn't be more orgasmic
I would have to say this movie comes up tops
With Ms Congenality..uh huh it's that good
Or maybe the best I've seen of Mandy Moore
I've watched it twice and it's still farking good
It won't be for those who despite romance films

It's because I don't worship
It's because I've sinned
It's because I am ignorant to others
It's because I am too me

5:04 PM;
and the camera clicked away

..10 o'locks to cold stowage..

Somehow a mispronouncation of 10 o'clock
To 10 o'locks sounds way cooler than the original
Or maybe I am just demented

Well headed for a barbeque or would I say
Super small sized gathering which knocked my socks off
It was good to get a reminder once in a while
And forget the things that ought to be shot
It's still hard to talk about it
But it's getting easier
I've managed to held back the water works
But the heart still crumbles to millions

Computers are being a farktard nowadays
One won't play my mp3
So I'm depending on blog music
While the other plays mp3s, it's internet connection
Apparently got lost on the internet too
And well the last one is just a plain farktard
It's a wonder I'm in IT
To further knock my socks off
I passed my papers
Yep I managed to slip through the fingers of supp papers
Addition to that I somehow improved and deproved
I ain't complaining
Just that maybe one downfall equals to 3 upfalls
Whatever upfalls means
It shouldn't be upfall instead up(insert opposite of fall)
I think I am demented officially

I can't look forward to it
Coz I might just fall flat on my face again
And it would mean my vacation is ending
Then I think its best I NOT think about it

Just when you thought you can finally get what goes on in their minds
They surprise you more with their back up escapes
And they said women were confusing
I think its the pot calling the kettle black

1:44 AM;
and the camera clicked away

..i still miss you..

Poking my fork into a brownie
At half past midnight
Just greattt..i've succumbed to temptations
When my digestive system is at it's worse
Not to mention holding a cup of coke

I'm feeling better as the days go by
And boy hasn't it been hellish the last few days
He's still on my mind say 99% of the time though

I still can't get over the look
That look that meant he's actually human
The look that been burnt into my mind
The only memory I have of him
And yet I'm too embarrased to see him
I have no idea what it's gonna be like the next time we meet
It'll be a looonngg time though

I like thin lips l like thin lips I like thin lips
Then tell me why I'm set on him
Despite his luscious lips
Luscious lips..mr luscious lips
Ok this is getting too farrr..
But hey it's my own sweet burden

1:49 AM;
and the camera clicked away

..alone..

Why do I always torment myself by falling for someone
Whom I'm sure we would never be together
It's a simple logic of
We can never be together no matter what
And all I have are hidden feelings
Only I would be thoroughly letdown
Crumbling into pieces
Despite allowing myself to dream
Knowing that it is very much impossible
I find myself in this situation over and over again
At this point
I find myself rather pathetic
Not rather but fucking pathetic and spastic
My patience is running thin
Everything's changed
I've changed
I no longer carry smiles
But just a single word
And the water works starts
What seemed like a killer to spend the whole day in my room
No longer seems impossible
I refused to have any social contact with the outside world
Calls irritate the shit out of me
People mean nothing
Morbidness has taken the best out of me
I prefer the solitude
Which I'm very much gonna face till I die
I was brought alone into this world
What difference does it make for another 19 more years or more
I can't smile anymore
I'm at my lowest ever
I'm not being dramatic
I just don't see the point right now

11:57 PM;
and the camera clicked away

even if it was raining, they would tell me the sky is clear

Don't you ever wonder
What the hell went wrong
When all along you had good reviews
And that would be the last thing you ever expected
Then reality catches up with you
And you crash and burn
I can't help but wonder
When all those people gave me moral support
Were they for real
Or was it just a figment of my mind
You know that 90.5 or something advertisement
Where the kid was playing tennis
And he was hopeless and yet the father
Hears all these good comments from the coach
And the last part they emphasized on "only hear the good stuff"
Sometimes I wonder if I'm so ignorant
That I filter off the bad points and elaborate on the good ones
And when it came down to the actual thing
I wonder what the hell when wrong
When maybe afterall there was something wrong with me
Everyone was just being nice
And I'm just to fucking stupid to believe them

I can't help but wonder
I couldn't let you see me like that
And I knew I disappointed you so much
Why do you mean so much to me
When I don't even know you
We're world's apart but why can I let you go
Seriously I need to see why
I saw a part of you I didn't like
And yet I realised I've fallen way deeper than I wanted
I just don't get it
I just don't fucking get this shit
Maybe you were there when I needed someone
You're my backup or are you more than that?

9:28 PM;
and the camera clicked away

I'm so fucking useless

11:58 AM;
and the camera clicked away

..complex..

Today I got paired up with him again
When I saw the list I was kinda frustrated
But it went away the moment I saw him
I don't wish to be this vulnerable lunatic
But yar we didn't talk much the first hour
Just did our thing
Later I felt bad so I started talkin to him again
I guess the feeling was still there
Just not as much as before
I think he was really bored the first hour
Coz I refused to look at him what more talk
Well I'm just grateful I got 2 days in a row with him
I prefered him much better the very first time I met him

It's so difficult to guess what he's thinking
I mean when I finally went back there after the exams
He still remembered me
Either that or he was just lookin at me, unknowingly
And being the moronic self I am I smiled and nodded
Thinking..Ouuhh he remembered me
Despite that earlier we got pair up once..a loonngg time ago

And I was kinda forcing myself to talk to him
Don't think we can communicate that well
I just don't know what to talk to him about
Despite that the silence we had
It wasn't even awkward
From what I heard from him
He's totally has a different thinking in life
I mean yar opposites attract
But till what extend do opposites NOT attract?
How can you go on with someone who doesn't even like what you like?

2:18 PM;
and the camera clicked away

..you're a mistake..a big mistake..

i finally know what you think of me
it always comes down to that
and to think you weren't like the rest
unfortunately you do stoop that low
thanks but no thanks

It's the rascal's birthday
Wowheee..2 years..my my..
She's growing up fast..

11:02 AM;
and the camera clicked away

..take a chance..make a change..

Woohoo I love the idea of just
BUMMING
I rot away aimlessly at the couch
That when I get up
It still has the sunken shape of me
Wayyy cool..
Either that or we need a new couch
Erk!

Weee and I finally get to meet
My pepo at the activity centre
They remembered me.. hur hur
Can't believe I was finally there
After waiting for my exams to be over
And there I was yesterday..
Didn't let me down a one bit..

Its like freaaakkiingggg[white chick style]hot
Absolutely madness..

Alrights I wanna get back
To my aimless life
Woohoo..

3:11 PM;
and the camera clicked away

..trapped..

She looks around only to feel the touch of the sea breeze
The salty taste it leaves on her lips
With the sand twirling like it's dancing with the wind
Waves engulf her cries

She's fallen into a big hole
And no one has come to rescue her
She sits and waits
No matter how loud she screams
She looks up only to be disappointed
By the endless sky

She never did wish for a hole to eat her up
But it did without her consent
She's covered in bruises and long for the human touch
She's cold in the dark night
If only she has wings made for the endless sky
The only thing that would rescue her
Hasn't quite found her buried in her grief

Some things are just overrated

1:21 AM;
and the camera clicked away

..mygawd..

Some people are so fugging unbelievable
What is it.. they don't have a backbone or something
Useless piece of monkey shit
Please take a fuggin look in the mirror

7:13 PM;
and the camera clicked away

..mediocre..

my name is no longer unique
=(

4:31 PM;
and the camera clicked away

..i'll dig your eyeballs out doofus..

pepo it is rude to stare
especially when you're sitting opposite me
and you're not very good looking

i'm evviiilll
but i lioke!

3:51 PM;
and the camera clicked away

..swoosh swoosh..

I can't wait till i can farkin reformat my comp
It so screwed up that my mouse has a life of its own
It wonders side to side of the screen
Pissing me off coz I don't have control
Next thing..it can't read tables for nuts
It has it's own formats that I have accustomed myself to
That when I see the actual format on a proper computer
It looks so peculiarly out of place
But formatting would require me to save all the files in this comp
And seeing that this comp probably exists on pentium one
It'll take donkey years

Patience isn't my best friend today
Looking how agitated I got in the exam hall
I should just slap myself silly for forgetting everything
The moment i read the questions
*slap slap*

I want that ah pek ice cream
It's so outrageously heavenly that I can't quite describe it
Fuggin hell old man..what did u put in the ice cream
Children?

Now i really ought to be shot right now
For my lack of brightness

Morning conversation with dad

Dad: So ur timetable is per normal after next week last paper?
Me: huh? Hell no..I ain't got no more school
Dad: You mean you're clearing leave
Me: No I ain't got school literally
Dad: Till december?
Me: Yeah?
Dad: 2 months of break?
Me: Yarrrrr..
Dad: So soon?
Me: No dad..not after a hellish months of doofus projects i somehow need more school aye
Dad: Oh yeah..so watcha gonna do during the break?
Me: Erm go on a holiday?
Dad: With whom?
Me: You?
Dad: Oh right (thinks deeply)

I don't think we are very productive in the mornings
At least now I know where I get my morning syndrome from

6:30 PM;
and the camera clicked away

..unfinished..

I should be shot
For my lack of urgency

10:45 PM;
and the camera clicked away