...unpretty..

I caught the pre-fireworks
Since I might not be around to catch the actual one
When I should have glued my butt to this chair
To get some "useful" fact into my thick head
I have to take tests on monday and my knowledge
Is close to -50%..
So tell me I'm in good hands
I rather clean my room then rot away on this chair
Geez...
So much for my happy ending..

11:02 PM;
and the camera clicked away

..screw it..

I just spent the last 3 hrs
Trying to figure how to transfer my pics
From my phone to the computer
I've hit a record of sending 45 MMS last month
So I'm feeling guilty and decided to find a cheaper route
Unfortunately the cheap route seems really hard to find
Major eeediot!
And the closest I've gotten to sending was business contacts
Bah!!
Daym it i'm in no mood to study
What's new..I'm so screwed
That's it..I'm makin it official that I'm gonna flunk
My farking term test..
Hmm there's nip tuck soon
See what i mean?!!
And I want the Nokia flip flop phone!!
I hate my 7250i!!
It's boring..i want flip flop
I want flip flop!!!!

10:28 PM;
and the camera clicked away

..all masked up...

When you fall for someone
Especially for those who are
Totally not what you are looking for
You are bound to be disappointed
It's tough when you come from 2 different worlds
And you know 2 worlds can't combine into 1
You are so prone to wanting him to change
Maybe you didn't fall him in the first place
It was just a mere infactuation
He happened to be there when you needed him
I've had enough of changin myself for you
It's tiresome for me and I'm cheating on you at the same time
I feel so locked up and I feel that whatever I say
Might just disappoint you from the way you look at me
I don't like putting on this mask to gain your approval
I have my own pain to mend and it's harder with your pain on my shoulders
I rather be with someone whom
I've imagined to be with
Then settle for the second best..

9:59 PM;
and the camera clicked away

..wild conception..

Did I mention how I really dislike one of my lectures
Ok firstly I admit I'm bias..I like the other lecturer
He lectures so much better and well
I just like him than this gay-ly fella
Who laughs like he's got fits
And looks like a 2 year old kid and well
I'm pretty sure he doesn't know what he's talking about
I swear...he admitted it in class today
*TURD ALERT..MAJOR*
Thank god he let out early
3 hrs of his turdness is so driving me up the wall!

Other than that, it's wednesday
And I'm no where near even started my revision
I'm so screwed..
I already sense that I have a F
Stamped to my forehead
*stamp stamp stamp*

6:13 PM;
and the camera clicked away

..Unexplained..

You know how sometimes
When you truly look forward to something
But in the end it turns out to be crap
Well I do..and I always try not to be so excited bout something
Coz I have this paranoia that since I expect so much
It lets me down in the end..

So as I was saying I was looking forward to one of my classes
I was thinking of waiting for him then I could go class with him
In the end I needed the toilet and went up myself
Only to find him in class..early for once..
Somehow his vibe was different the moment I sat beside him
Not a bad vibe but the sort of vibe that he's truly comfortable
So I'm all smiles right now
Obviously somehow I always get grouped with messed up people
So there we were playing and foolin around durin the 2 hr tutorial
Major fun but major bore since we were too restless to bother
He was being cute as always..made me pick a card and guess what it was
He was obviously terrible at it
I gave up waitin for him to try to guess the card
Then after awhile of messing around..
I gave him one final look only to realise
Geez..why do I like him?
Was it just a mere replacement for Gene?
I mean he showed his personality today
Where his wittyness just threw me off
Can u believe it..his sarcasm is 100% better than mine
So there were moments we were bickering
And in the end I shut up coz I was too speechless
Other than that he's fun..yet nuthin great you know
I know of other guys whom I relate so much better
Is it merely because I like him that I can't say everything on my mind
Or that I'm just too overwhelmed by his presence
Well at the end of today..I'm happy with today
I'm being grateful coz the break is coming
And I won't be so lucky to spend more time with him

Stop complaining and just be satisfied with what you have
Coz some people aren't so lucky compared to you..

6:35 PM;
and the camera clicked away

..Riighhttt....

Here I am in the break of dawn
And my whole class is surfing the web
Coz this lab hasn't never been taught
Everyone is slacking their brains out
And the teacher doesn't even bother
Why do my 8 am classes always start with a turd!
Sheesh maybe i should just head down for breakfast
And I'm sure he isn't even gonna notice i'm gone
Bleah..
Then again i may never get this chance again
Maybe I should just start playing online games
WoOowheeeeee..
JING YI IS DRIVING ME MAD
WITH ALL HER UGLY GUYS ON FRIENDSTER!!!!
Hahahahah..

8:40 AM;
and the camera clicked away

 ..*you..

Even though you might not feel the same way as I wished you did. Just let me enjoy my very own made fairytale. There's no harm in me seeing that I want to place my fingers between yours and look into your eyes that light up the moment you laugh. How I take so much pride in making you laugh coz you seemed to be that cool laid back mister that doesn't laugh. But I did, I was always the one who made you laugh. It was me all me and I especially loved it when we were by the corner just watching the world go by. And even when we didn't say anything for that 5 seconds, I felt that I had just wasted 5 precious seconds with you.

12:11 AM;
and the camera clicked away

..What?! It's Sunday already?!!..

*sigh* look at the time
It has reached night time
And let's see what i have done
Hmm one psychology journal entry
ONE.. believe it one pathetic entry
And i have to hand in 5 by tues
What a day..
This was what i said on friday
"Ouuhh finally all projects handed in!"
"Hmm i'll rest today and get my other work done on sat"
Now the same daym thing was said yesterday
"Hmm i'll rest today and get my other work done on sunday"
Fark it's sunday and i haven't done a daym thing
Cept surf the web aimlessly..eat
Watch tv..and now i'm panicking coz
What seemed like i had alot of time on friday
Seemed to go down the longkang..*flush*
 
Oh well i'll just be thankful i start at 10 toms
Better than nuthin of starting 8 on a monday
I guess the school knew that it would have gone down in flames
If they were to make me come at 8 on mon AND fri
Bad enough they make me come for an hour on fridays at 8
And leave me to rot for my 3 hr break..
Oh well i'm still in a good mood..
*my bubble ain't bursting*
 
Oh, *you got the perfect body (uh, huh)
Love the way you're shakin it for me (uh, huh)
Can we take it up stairs from the lobby
I don't see nothing in*you and me bubblin

8:59 PM;
and the camera clicked away

..wearisome..

[NOW]
happy or sad: in between-er
sleepy or awake: awake..so very awake
hungry or full: i'm always hungry.. lol
dirty or clean: hmm *thinks*
single or taken: --single--
alone or with someone beside u: i have maroon 5's lead singer accompanyin me
sick or healthy: i feel a sore throat coming after all those chocs..

[WHAT]
you last ate: choc bar
you last drank: plain water
you wearing now: clothes..??! u farkin pervert!
are you thinking of: erm..something to do coz i'm freakin bored..
are you wishing for: it's only for me to know and no one else..
do you overuse: my brains..hahah my eyes i guess..
do you take for granted: lots of things but i try not too..

[WHO]
do you miss the most: i'm not in a missing mood right now
do you love: myself..hak!
do you feel most happy with: people who are happy..logical ain't it..
makes you laugh like a maniac: i laugh like a maniac 80% of the time
makes u sleep: why don't u ask what..rainy days and days where i have an early class..
makes you cry: *thinks* dang this thing is tough
makes you angry: people..
enlightens you: i tend to enlighten myself
ill-treats you: my enemies..hahah

[WHEN]
is your birthday: 21 Sept 1985
is your wedding anniversary: rriigghhttt..marriaaggee...
is the happiest day of your life: when i'm dyin..then i'll tell you..i've yet to discover it
is the saddest day of your life: that time..wait *thinks* erm..
did you last swear: 3 secs ago..lol
did you last have a fight: erm..2 weeks ago..Dan's an ass!
did you last cry: when he left..

[HOW]
do you break off with someone: *middle finger* hak!
do you overcome depression: just go with it..you'll come out of it once the depression mode runs out of battery
do you live your life: in a weirdly-naturalistic way..
do you make friends: go wit tha fflloowww...
do you pass your time: watch my beautiful 4 walls!
do you pass your exams: with all my eyes fingers toes and nose crossed!
do you find yourself: a schizo..

[WHY]
do you normally get angry: coz i'm pmsing...
are you that who you are: what? ur england very the powerful can..
are you doing this survey: coz i'm bored..

8:59 PM;
and the camera clicked away

...Whhheeeeetttttt...

I'm so farkin exhausted right now
My eyes are screaming
SLLEEEPPPP
Finally all my assignment's are handed in
Killer killer.. 2 assignments in a day
Sheesh..
I'm so gonna screw today
Either i'll crash this very moment
With the keyboard stuck to my forehead
Or play my ps2 coz i have to start muggin for my term test
Yes term test..i felt i just came back from US 2 weeks ago
And now i gotta apparently study things
That i was supposed to absorb in the last 5 weeks
I'm so dead..stupid java..

Whole week has been a blur
A fun blur coz all i remember was laughin so much
Yesterday was kick ass day..
I totally loved thursday 22 July 2004
Interview rawked..the teacher complemented me
Java Lecture was a farnie session..
Database lecture..hmm was i even there?!!
Lab was alright..hopefully my lab quiz turns out ok
Then psychology lecture just rawked my socks off
*Whhheeeeettttttt*
Stayed back till 9 in school to complete every damn thing
Was only left with status report and printing this morning
Absolute rapture.. no worries on the dateline day
I actually finished early..heeeh

And *whhhheeeettt* to *you! *wink*

5:14 PM;
and the camera clicked away

..I promised..not to...cry..

The time had arrived
And I felt it was way to soon
It hasn't been fair
I never did want the day to come
You made me promise not to cry
I remembered how you made the world a better place
You laughed at all my silly jokes like you were really entertained
How you would never judge me but took me for who I was
The way you sang and looked right into my eyes
Not caring that you sounded off key
Meaning every word you said and gave me everything a girl needed
You gave me a hug
And whispered in my ear
It was gonna be the last time I would hear your soothing voice
It was then you said you loved me
I always wondered whether you meant it
But it was then I realised you truly meant it
The moment I saw tears in your eyes
And how your eyes just spoke how you didn't want to leave
Baby I kept my promise
But I broke it the moment I saw you walking away with tears down your face

It just farking sucks right now..

10:01 PM;
and the camera clicked away

..yucks..
 
It doesn't help that I have to do a stinking project on slimming pills
What more when it's between fann wong xando and michelle chia extrim
How utterly disgusting that fann wong's pic is all plastered on the background of the webpage
And that I'm in a shared lab
And a majorly huge pic of fann wong is showing
People are so gonna think I'm a fann of that stupid fann wong..urrghh
Ok i'm cranky coz i'm hungry
 
I'm so toast..projects suck..
Read that.. SUCK!
 

11:36 AM;
and the camera clicked away

..Generally Everything Nicky Envisaged..

I appreciate you taking time to send me home
I appreciate you getting rid of your facial hair
Even though you wanted to try the scruffy look
I appreciate you never losing your patience with me
I appreciate how you take in stride all the insecurities I had
And simply blew it all always with that smile
I appreciate you being honest and loyal to me
I appreciate the times no matter how tired you were
You refused to put the phone down knowing that something was botherin me
I appreciate how you always made me feel so good about myself
I appreciate your daily emails calls and sms
I appreciate how you always give in to me
I appreciate your efforts to make me smile
I appreciate you sing your heart and soul to me
I appreciate how you always thought about me first than yourself
Most of all I appreciate how you were always there

And you know it's gonna be tough when you're gone
Coz every damn thing reminds me of you

1:15 AM;
and the camera clicked away

..insouciant...
 
I have no idea why I was so tired yesterday
But it was fun having dinner with *his parents
*His dad is so cute..it's like he just pops out his fact for the day
And he goes like "Ohh did you know great white sharks can jump?!"
I mean not jump jump but ohh more like leap..
 
*He didn't inform me that we were havin dinner with *his parents
All I knew was that when *he came to get me I saw other passengers in his car
And I was still dressed in my jeans and crummy t-shirt whilst *he was in a suit
*He looked so hot in his suit with his spotless shoes and that blue suedu tie
I have a feeling *he deliberately wore a suit instead of changing coz
Of what I said in the previous entry..heh
 
Oh well dinner was at Seoul Garden..haven't been there in ages
 
Then we sent his parents back and just hung around
I was actually so exhausted..maybe coz i had a 8am class that day
And I was early for once coz he had an 8.30 meeting..
He said at one point he couldn't see my eyes while talkin to me
Hak.. geez I got get my projects done..
Why can't you be a java expert and help me in my assignment =(
 

1:32 PM;
and the camera clicked away

...bad girl..

Though it's been pretty tough these few days
Overall 1 good day is enough to shoo the dark clouds
Just wanted to snuggle in bed this mornin
With the heavy downpour but school called

Why is it so amazingly impossible to pay attention
In lectures when you have a hot guy next to you..
I have no idea why
I got so happy when hot guy wanted to go lecture with me
I should have felt so guilty
It was so tough to concentrate..
All I remembered was watchin hot guy
Thing is hot guy is so not my type
But he's so hot..I'm such a bad girl..

Woowee playing playstation wit *him awhile back
It's doesn't feel so lost
Since our minds were off *him leaving
*He's such a sore loser sometimes..heeh
But watchin *him let me win at racing was swweett
Don't worry..*you're still super hot to me =)
I hope it gets easier as the days get by..

10:21 PM;
and the camera clicked away

..my angel's going..away..

It ain't no point
How I lie to myself
How I manage to get you off my mind for a sec
Only to be brought back into moments we shared
The way I never laughed before
Knowing you would be waiting for me everyday
Just anticipating for the day to end
So that I would be greeted by your beautiful smile
And I never did take you for granted
I cherished every moment we had
And I felt so guilty whenever I lost hope
Only to have my insecurities taken in by you

At the end of it all, he said..
"I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved"

That just did it..

6:21 PM;
and the camera clicked away

..Broken..

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don I'm feel right when you're gone away

You've gone away, you don't feel me anymore

The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

5:07 PM;
and the camera clicked away

...Plastics..

Caught Mean Girls durin my decade long break
I should do it more often
But there aren't much good movies
Not too bad the movie
Hoped it was much better but yeah
Whaddya expect..

It's comin to a month in school

I think someone altered the time

It's goin wayy to fastt..

I'm not lookin forward havin less days..

5:22 PM;
and the camera clicked away

..they punched my duck!..

Thank you for makin my day much better

Unlikely sleepless in database lecture

Raindrops weren't helping

Countdown to a year
But maybe I've wasted a year
Then again I take it back
It was utterly blissful

His smell still lingers

Twirled around my fingers

10:33 PM;
and the camera clicked away

..hazardous..

Friendster is so messed up

Internet connection sucks at the same time

I'm too tired to update

I wanna stay home

His smell lingers

10:58 PM;
and the camera clicked away

..your..name..

I caught the Spidey 2 flick
It's quite alright
It lasted bout 2 hrs i guess
They covered lotsa things
Being mr spidey..being mr parker
His love life..his school life
At one point u even feel that it sucks being spiderman
But as usual at the end of the day
He's gotta save the world
Somehow the show kinda leaves lotsa blanks
Hmmm..that's what happens when the
Director plans to make 7 sequels..
Sheesh..

Once I met a man on the plane
Whom I was gonna spend the next 18 hrs with
Cooped up in a pressure filled cabin
High above the ground
Thousands of feet from stability
He smiled as I proceeded to the seat next to him
And all I could think of was that
"Well ain't I lucky..he actually looks decent"
Upon take off I saw his knuckles turnin white
But his face remained the cool calm expression

3 hrs gone by before we actually started a conversation
He needed to use the lavatory
During the 3 hrs i realised he looked neither right or left
He kept his back straight,hands on his lap
And looked so confidently to his future
That was before I knew he was terrified by flying
He doesn't like the idea of being in the sky
Without nuthin to catch him if he falls

We talked about lotsa things above the sky
From the book he was reading
To him to not eatin beef but chicken only
That he married a asian women
But she's not here with him
When he goes back to meet his parents
And before we knew it
We were so exhausted that we slept facin each other

18 hrs gone by and we were goin to land
Before he said "This was easiest flight I've ever been on. Thanks."
It was then that we were walkin away in opposite directions
Did I realise I didn't know his name
I knew basic things about him but
The smallest detail I had missed out
I turned to find the path he took empty
No sign of mr mystery whatsoever

10:58 AM;
and the camera clicked away

..I'm..still..standing..

I having a lil party in the lab right now
Sad thing bout this party is that the
Guest list only includes me
I shouldn't have turned up for this mornin lab
Coz first of all i have completed the work
And the other thing is that
All we have to do for this lab is complete last week's work
So there i was just surfin around and wasting
4 hrs when i could still be snoozin away in my comfy bed
But since i'm here i might as well waste more time
And just have a countdown to school ending

My lectures are sometimes so freakin lazy
I hate when they update our tutorials like on the weekend
And here i am checkin the account everyday
So that i can print the damn assignments and get it done
But noooo they like to print it over the weekend
And dump all the work to be done over the weekend
Sheesh..
See how i just wasted 4 hrs of my life
I'm never gettin back
Coz i have nuthin to do
But just freeze to death in the lab
Ok ok ok fine i'll quit complaining
Not like my complaining will make a difference

And now there's a turd
Runnin to and fro to the printer
And his runnin isn't helpin
Coz when he runs..he brings about the wind
And it's not helpin coz i'm already butt frozen
Blardy toot..

Alright stupid freshies are lookin at me
Coz i'm not 'supposed' to be using the internet..
Sheesh..bleah

9:18 AM;
and the camera clicked away

..aight...

Apologies for the non existant life state
Life's been pretty much mundane
Stuff happens here and there
And i don't feel like lettin the world know

On the whole i met the fellas on Sunday
Lunch was good but the drivin around was much better
Missed the drivin and chillin out
The spontaneous plan of just turnin left or right
And see where we end up is still fun to me

Chill out at the chauffer-for-the-day place
Chatted with his mom here and there
Wowheee..i love his room..so big..
His dad is pretty much the same..quirky and comical
And he had the whole set up of starbucks in his very own home
Not the actual starbucks place but a whole room
Deliberately for chillin..aircon..a dessert counter and of course coffee
Music in the background..he was playin water sounds..how cute!

Daym..my mp3 player just decided to die on me
When i have 2 more hrs to go...

I've been sleepin alot..
Tell me this isn't alot when i slept from 6pm yesterday till 6 this mornin
The day before 10pm and i'm in bed
And it's not like i have much work to do
I have tons..sheesh..school..

2:24 PM;
and the camera clicked away